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01

Apr

Obviously this has to do with my career vs. art angst. Today my question to myself has been whether or not I can even consider myself an “artist”. I guess I may have trouble with what that word might mean. I am certain that there is an intense feeling of loathing associated with the desire to create that is linked to fear of failure or rejection. Calling myself “artist” would imply that I am doing something, and even moreso than “doing something” doing work that people are actually reading, looking at, and might possibly like. I guess my deepest fear is that I will always feel and remain an amateur.   And just for a funny aside that “comment” is actually something a colleague of mine wrote about a student. I couldn’t resist the subversive comedy in it. :)

Obviously this has to do with my career vs. art angst. Today my question to myself has been whether or not I can even consider myself an “artist”. I guess I may have trouble with what that word might mean. I am certain that there is an intense feeling of loathing associated with the desire to create that is linked to fear of failure or rejection. Calling myself “artist” would imply that I am doing something, and even moreso than “doing something” doing work that people are actually reading, looking at, and might possibly like. I guess my deepest fear is that I will always feel and remain an amateur.  

And just for a funny aside that “comment” is actually something a colleague of mine wrote about a student. I couldn’t resist the subversive comedy in it. :)